Sunday, November 20, 2011

Rue in the loo



An MBA perspective of B-school hostel bathrooms

Maybe, the 3 million of the future managers will be able to relate to what I write here. The 3 million who aspired and were eventually driven away to hostels to share the ‘exotic’ rooms will be able to. Bathrooms were the least worry then, it is the morning ritual now.

There is something about the bathrooms of the hostel that no other place can teach. Honestly, JK Rowling should have written her books in there. The intriguing half white scarred tiles empowered with cobwebs in every corner you notice, you might as well be inspired like the King Bruce who learnt from the spider.

Applying the S.W.O.T. (Strength, weakness, opportunity and threat) analysis to the four walled, tri-partitioned area, we can arrive at the following :

(a) Strength : A place for meet over and exchange of pleasantries

(b) Weakness: The strength of the place is misused

(c) Opportunity: every senior is dodged by the junior

(d) Threat: By Murphy’s law, it is never available when you need to use it.

This place can teach you more than necessary:

(a) Patience and calculation: Place your bucket in front of the door and wait for your turn . More than the virtue, it instigates you to calculate the probability of the person coming out that door as compared to the next one.

(b) The social network: Introduce, interact and associate to the gossips of the haven.

(c) Estimates: Understand the usage patterns of others, estimate the resources and time utilized, reduce competition by seizing opportunities.

(d) Competition: Observe what the competitors do and use. Be a leader in a peculiar habit/ usage or be a quick follower. Go for a defensive strategy when the a product you think is your is lying next to the wash basin but someone else claims for it.

(e) Full utilization of your senses: Capture the sounds and smells. Stay alert to dart outdoors.

(f) Management crisis : Run on the tap for hours together in anticipation of hot water, forget to carry the soap into the bathroom, three people queued before the door are all crisis that needs tactics to solve. Make long term strategies.

(g) Time management: These teach you time management like no other.

The BCG (bathroom consulting group) :

Star

Hot water

Question mark?

Individual bathrooms?

Cash cow

Shower usage

Dog

Dustbins. Bathrooms never have dustbins!

Hostel bathrooms are mini discotheques; people rush in like mad, play music for whatever reason, sing aloud and leave in a happy hurried mode.

Bathrooms have their own business cycles too:

The normal usage is at peak but during exams, the usage is nearly zero. Bathrooms experience recession during exam time.

CSR activities:

The only CSR activity that can be practiced is to use the bathroom for what it is meant for. Also, keeping the "environment" clean gets you the ISO standard.

Thus, the conclusion that can be drawn is that bathroom problem still remain, at large, unattainable. The college doesn’t care. The students don’t care either!

7 comments:

Meenu said...

Omg - Your imagination doesnt have any limit eh :) I never thought doing an MBA will make you look at everything 'literally everything!'in business angle !!

BCG - New defn.. :D

Subs said...

@Meenu

It was an attempt :D

balaji said...

OMG , you are the person who has developed a business cycle for bathrooms

How is MBA treating you ??

Subs said...

@Balaji

I tried to associate with MBA, hence the cycle.

Its not about how MBA is treating me, rather, how I am treating MBA :P

balaji said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
balaji said...

"Its not about how MBA is treating me, rather, how I am treating MBA :P "
NIce one
Its a general case where people are cleansed and brain washed in B schools..

Subs said...

@Balaji

Not exactly :)