Monday, May 10, 2010


Statutory warning : Boring post

The baby slept in bliss in her mother’s arms. Her lips were red and cheeks pink.
‘Most beautiful baby’, claimed her mother warming the baby.
‘Madam, the gas agency people are here. We will get our cylinder today’, informed the maid intervening the happy couple.
This made them happier.
‘Cylinder!! Wow wow! How long have we been waiting for one!! This child is very lucky for us!!’ shouted the father in joy “And to remember this occasion, we will christen her Cylinderella!!”

Mother dies. Don’t ask how because it is not important but what is that father marries again. Like in most south Indian serials, father has no role to play after this. He gets drunk, beaten and flees to marry another lady. I know that is a pathetic exit but no other reason would justify his disappearance.

So, our poor Cylinderella is put up with her step mother and two step sisters in a medium sized thatched roof. I retain the step sisters’ gender because I want no controversies. Now, don’t pounce on me to ask if two females can’t cause any controversies.

Cylindrella grew up to be a beautiful 18 year old girl. Err..why not 16? If 16, the ministry of women and child development could come barging into my place for what Cylinderella is going to be portrayed as. She was much more beautiful than any of her sisters which is kind of obvious for a protagonist but needs a mention.

Everyday she had to work like a slave from making the idlis in the morning to washing clothes at night. Life was very miserable for her and she sat near the gas stove everyday talking to her dog which replied back ‘bow! bow!’ meaning cheer up! By the way, I hate CATs :D.

The sisters, including Cylinderella, eyed the neighbour boy named Ezhavarasan , nicknamed ‘Prince’. Prince went to a school that was considered posh in their locality. Yes, he was still in school because he failed twice. Every morning, he took his blue cycle and rode off to school. The sisters deliberately sat in the veranda to watch him go while Cylinderella peeped from the kitchen.

It was once that he showed off by performing a stunt and broke his front two teeth. That became his mark of heroism and hence the sex appeal.

One day, Prince was throwing a party because he passed his twelfth standard. His house was decorated in ribbons, banners and banana plantain. Everyone was invited including the step sisters. They assumed that Cylindrella was not invited and asked her scrub the floor and put kolam in the front. Her step sisters dressed in blue and red half sarees and the flowers in the head could make anyone faint. In literal sense.

When they left for the party, she cried alone and suddenly an old lady with wings appeared.
“Who are you?”, she asked looking amazed. The old ladie’s mouth was red because of paan and she smiled a toothless smile .
“I am mother fairy”, she said
“Mother? you mean grandmother?”, Cylinderella asked.
“How dare you?!!”, shouted fairy pointing a old stick at Cylinderella’s nose. “Maybe, olay ageing cream doesn’t work on fairies and works only on Sushmith sen”.

“Don’t worry fairy. But why are you here?”, asked Cylindrella.
“Don’t you know how the story goes? Do you read books or not?!”, growled grandmother fairy.

“Oh! Wait! I will bring the pumpkin”. Cylinderella ran to the kitchen and brought in the biggest pumpkin she could find.
Grandmother fairy prayed, raised her wand and swoosh!!
Voila!! Pumpkin halwa was steaming hot in front of them.

“What is this?!!”, Cylinderella asked quite annoyed.
“What else do you expect me to make out of this pumpkin? This is one of my favourites, you know”, replied fairy examining her wand.
“But fairy, I want to go to prince’s party and I don’t have a transport or decent dress to wear”, Cylinderella explained.

Sheesh! What kind of female are you? Steal one of your sister’s dresses and walk to his place. He is your neighbour, incase you forgot”.

Cylinderella was thankful for the idea and grabbed on a dress and wore her best. She wore matching clips on her head and examined herself in the mirror. She looked beautiful. She thanked the grand mother fairy.

“Just a warning, be back by 9”, advised the fairy.
“Because I go blind after that. So, make sure you come by 9”.

Cylinderella agreed and went to the party.

Prince was amazed to see a new girl . It was rare sight to see girls with good sense of dressing in the hall. So, he danced with her. All night, he pulled up his dhothi and did kuthu dance. Cylindrella giggled and enjoyed herself.

The clock stroke 9 and Cylinderella took on to her heels. Prince kept calling out to her but she didn’t turn back. One of the clips dropped near the door and prince picked it.

Next day , both, Prince and Cylindrella were sad. Prince was determined to find the new girl and so, he took the clip and tried it on every girl’s head. It was not a great feat as only very very few of them were good looking. He tried it on the step sisters and it fitted one of them perfectly.
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh..Princeeee…”, cried one of the sisters with dreamy eyes.

Hello ! wait! This is not how the story ends!

Prince fought his way to the kitchen where Cylindrella had been waiting for him and he put the clip on her head.

“I always knew it was you”, said Prince
“Is it?”, gleamed Cylindrella
“Who else in our neighbourhood uses jasmine oil on their head? The clip smelt of jasmine”

With teary eyes , she hugged him. They married and lived happily ever after.


During their first child:

“She is so beautiful”, said Cylindrella hugging the baby.
“Yes, she is”, said prince.

“Sir, LIC agency has come”, said the maid servant.
“Wow!! After so many days!! She is very lucky for us. Let us christen her Lickella!!”

“That sounds bad”
“Ya! I know. Let us name her something else”

And it continues…

Yawned? I warned you.


TIPSY said...

include some current trends and some youthful stuff... its kind of good :D

Anonymous said...

Reminded me of Lollu Sabha! it was not bad. good imagination (??!!)

BTW, it is not "ezhavarasan" but "elavarasan". Ezhavu = death :D

Anonymous said...

and i know you hate cats :D :D
Changed the theme? felt like the previous one was better than this.

subs said...


Sure do. Next time :). Thanks


Lolz!! Sorry. Will edit :)
Ya, needed change. Other one was too dark.