Thursday, July 29, 2010

Billion hearts beating

He loves your parents.
He loves your siblings.
He loves your life partner.
All you need to do is take care of him.

Billion hearts beating. Take a pledge by leaving a comment in this post.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Life, through his eyes

The December wind blew over making him shutter slightly. He hated the wind but today he had no qualms. He gazed into nothing and was very aware of the silence around. His heart beat was rhythmic. And heavy.

"Cry!cry! waaaaahhh!", Sristi laughed dodging away from him.
"You are acting like a kid", he replied trying to catch her.
She laughed again. He thought she was beautiful. There was nothing extraordinary about her except the mysterious aura. A ready smile and eyes full of innocence. The eyes he could stare into for eternal.
"Cry and I will give it back to you ", she said fanning herself with his college certificate.
"Boys don't cry, in case you didn't know", he retorted back.
"Ya right! Macho man!", she flung herself over him, "Congrats! You are an engineer now!". She hugged him tight.

The thoughts made him shutter more. Her softness lingered somewhere on him. He settled on the grass.

"Can we marry? Today?", she asked.
"What??! ", he exclaimed scanning around to see if anything hit her.
"C-A-N ..W-E.. M-A-R-R-Y?", she asked stressing on every word.
"You were alright in the morning. Must be the ice cream," he said.
She was disappointed. He hated to see her like that.
"Don't you think its too early? I mean, I don't even have a job right now. Let me do my Masters and come back quickly. Four years should be fine. You can wait na?"
"You are going to US and what am I supposed to do here alone?", she asked meekly.
He could see tears brimming in her eyes and nose turn red. 'She is very cute even when she cries'.
"Don't worry, as soon as I get a job , I will send across the tickets. You can join me!", he replied.
"Shut up!", she said softly.
She was irresistibly beautiful.He kissed her.

He closed his eyes for a moment to visualise and feel the tenderness of her lips. He moved his hands in air like he was playing with her hair. For a moment, he forgot he was alone.

He jumped slightly to get a glimpse of the entrance gate.
"Beta, be careful. Study well. Take care of your health. Don't get into the habit of alcohol", his mother listed the do's and dont's.
"Ya amma. I will heed to all that", he replied still looking at the gate.
"Whom are you searching for?", his mother asked , quite annoyed.
"Sristi!", he shouted and waved at her.
She waved back running towards him. She was intimidated by the presence of the whole family but he didn't care. He just hugged her oblivious to the surprise 'aah's and ooh's' in the family.
She blushed. "I got this for you", she handed over four t shirts and two sweaters.
"Beta, you have too much luggage already. Give it to me and I will keep it at home", his mother offered.
Sristi's face saddened.
"No amma, I am carrying it with me. "
He opened the suitcase in the middle of the airport and handed some of his clothes to his mother. He placed her gifts in his bag.
"Amma, I don't need those clothes. I will take hers", he told her. His mother was thoroughly annoyed.

His heart felt heavy. He wondered if his ambitions were wrong. He wondered if he should have ever come to US.His heart beat faster.

"15 missed calls Rahul! You couldn't return even one?", she cried over the phone.
"Very sorry sweetheart. I was very busy with my summer internship. I had to finish off what the professor asked me to do by evening".
"You could spare 5 minutes for me!", she cried again.
"You are too good that if I pick the phone to talk, I just can't put it down in five minutes", he replied.
"You are ever ready with an excuse", she claimed and hung up on him.
He knew she would call back. After ten minutes, phone rang.He picked it.
"Darling..sweetie..beautiful..sugar pie....

He smiled. He could never count the number of words he used to flatter her with and the excuses he used to make her happy.He should have been honest with her. He had always felt insecure. He wanted the best for her. He always lived in the fear that he would not be able to give her the best.He was lost in thoughts.

"Rahul, its over", she said.
"Why why why?", he held the phone tightly.
"You have no love for me", she reasoned.
"That is foolish! I am totally crazy about you. I cant live without you", he exclaimed.
"Prove it. Come back to India and speak to my parents. I cant wait any longer.There is so much pressure here that I cant take it. Why dont you ever understand. ?", she choked while she spoke.
"Darling, my semester exams get over by August. I will positively get a job by December. Just wait for another 10 months. Please. I will definitely come back then", he argued in his favour.
"We will just tell them about our relationship. Please. We could postpone everything later but tell them now.", she begged.
"How can I do that? I have no job . I cant do that. Just 10 months please", he held the phone even tighter.
"Please Rahul, I beg you. Lets tell them"
"Sristi.....please...Understand my position too".
"Rahul, its over." He heard a click on the other side. He knew the phone would ring in ten minutes. He hoped.

"What have you done to me?", he thought. He had made several attempts to call her but there was no response. He heard that her marriage was fixed to some other guy putting his 7 years of relationship with her to an end. He didn't want any details after that. There were no plans of visiting India again. Not for now. Her memories haunted and made him lonely.
"Boys don't cry. In case you didn't know", he said softly. He put his head over the knees letting tears take over him.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

A husband called Mathematics

To every good thing, there is an exception-An exceptional quote by one of the well known Roman philosophers. From the day of 25th August, 1986 , I have been trying to prove this exact point to my over adamant parents who refuse to agree. Hailing from one of the high class "Math-freak" family, I was expected to carry on the torch of quantative glory till the end of my life. Obviously, everyone was in for a great shock when I made my first mistake of 2+5 in the I standard. My father went into a state of mental trauma, mother shut herself in the puja room and silence engulfed the entire house provoking me to get the answer right. Being a man of practicality, my father wanted to bring a new approach to the problem using "practical" approach. Whenever 2 toffees and three pencils sum came across, he gave away the exact number of toffees and pencils to help me count. His practical way of teaching stopped when I came to him with a sum that involved "4 cars and 2 bikes". The numeric trait just skipped a gene in my case but sister was gifted with the ability making matters worse for me. While I was crying over simple problems of permutation and combination, she would be calculating the GDP of the country. The only time my P& C was legally right was when I calculated the right amount of time to act busy and ignore her when she came to me with her doubts. This legacy with Maths disaster continued all through my school life and was very evident in my board exams. Coaching classes with one of the best mathematics teacher, Mrs. Gowri, didn’t help me either. While my best friends solved problems with passion and pleasure, I only gazed at the geometric circles like they were determining my destiny. In my classes, I vividly remember being taunted by a bi-spectacled teacher who had laughed a wicked laugh when I didn’t know how to make a thousand with eight 8s.I had to put in extra-extra-extra efforts to scrape through the subjects in my school days. Fate has a plan on its own and when it is mixed with family decisions, it becomes a deadly combination. I was to do engineering after my 12th and knew maths was going to become my "double sided cellophane tape" boyfriend who would never depart. In my Engineering, the only maths I remember is calculating the "probability " of rain on the exam day, paper getting leaked and me passing the exam(and always landed with consistent zero).
I have many reasons to hate the subject. It freezes my mind and makes me surrender to it within moments. The numbers, x's and y's do a tribal dance in front of my eyes putting me to desolation and run away for salvation. I must agree I have had very little pleasurable moments with the subject and one of them was 'counting my salary'. My company made it easy for me too; giving away as less as they can. I think I have decided to commit a double suicide when I joined MBA program recently. During one of the financial management tests, I literally gave up on my 16 years with numbers. I wonder why I get up at '6' in the morning to take '8' mugs shower, scamper on the '4' idlis and walk under '40' degree sun just to realize numbers make no sense in my life.
The wikipedia definition of husband goes like this - The rights and obligations regarding his spouse, others and status in the community and in law varies between cultures and over time. In my case my 'husband- Maths' never gave up on me, following loyally, multiplying the expectations, adding my owes and screwing me royally.

P.S.; I wrote the first line quote. You wouldnt want a quote from a loser!

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Techie and me

I realised that I was lost without technology. Shut away from the world and thrown into cellulars of darkness. Got my lappy today and 'era of blogging' begins again :D