Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Dear men,

(I remember one of my friend's note on women. Wanted to reply there but it could have seemed feministic. That is not the intention.)

No, this is not another one of those moments where every girl is cute but dumb and every guy is the overly "saintified". This is for the 'men', group of gender who think they know all that exist and everything that might cease to extinct. Maybe, it’s true. And we agree. That makes the essence of rest of the article.

(1) We are the most confused creatures. It is not because of enumerable options that lie in front of us but we think too much and for everyone. Most of the times, everyone is equally important for us.That is not a problem; it is entangled strings of thoughts that make decisions confusing for us. The only suggestion we would make here is don’t confuse us more. We understand your in-depth knowledge of everything but leave certain things to us. Especially when dealing another woman.

(2) We are sick of the jokes that are made on us, yet, we would laugh at yours. It is not sympathy or pity. We thought that was your intention. To make us laugh, right? *giggle giggle*

(3) We are lost when it comes to direction. Just as you are lost when it comes to names and date.

(4) Sigh! We are one jealousy beings. We hate it when you compliment other girls. We are conscious of our looks. This is the reason that cosmetic industry makes billions. No , you are not at all jealousy types. Just a little possessive. A little too much that you can’t stop questioning about a guy whom we smiled at near the coffee machine.

(5) We would love to dress up for you. Everything you demand. Like the models or the girl who is next to your cubicle in office. Alas! We don’t have the money the movie star has or the over generous boyfriend the next-cubicle- girl goes out with.

(6) We went to school just like you, we went to college just like you and we would go to workplace too. We fought along with you all the years with the system, the education scenario and everything that seemed impossible to you. This entire thing narrows to the factor that we too are incapable of cooking or drawing rangolis. If you can do either of these, we are truly pleased and appreciative. It doesn’t mean you are doing something that a girl should be doing. We have done enough that you were supposed to do.

(7) When we say a swear word, it is just another swear word. It is not that we are showing off or pervert types or we are trying to modernize. We picked it from some guy who used it after every syllable.

(8) Don’t you dare talk about our father. We hate to do that with your mother.

(9) You pay our shopping bills. You pay the bills at restaurants. We give only missed calls. You bring a gift every time you see us. We ignore you to show that we are superior beings. You will have to make the first move.Did you also know that moon is going to swallow earth within next ten years? Ridiculous, is it? Tell me more, I am listening.

(10) Our mood swings faster than blink of an eye. You are aware right? Then, were that immediate seven missed calls necessary when we say we want to be left alone for sometime?

(11) Like the finger prints, every girl is different from another. Stereotyping doesn’t make any sense. If you knew girls were like this only and things that they expected, why wait for the “one” to sweep you off the feet?

(12) Appreciate women for what they do for you. They too have a life, a career and things to handle. It wouldn’t hurt to praise them once a while. But, please don’t make it too often that it irritates us. We know when you flatter us or lie. We just act innocent for you. We are epitome of lies. We lie to save our asses and yours.

One last question that has been nagging my mind, when you think we are so imperfect, confused and selfish, why marry us?

P.S.; I understand that not all women hold beliefs and think like I do. For those who don't, I am sorry. You can your own perception and PUT IT UP IN YOUR BLOG!


Shn said...

Now if only there is an option to LIKE this post.. :)

Vinothraj J said...

@Subs: NOM :) Just my thoughts stated out as you have poured yours out.. (and because i still haven't started that non-poetry blog, a comment on yours should do :D )


No, this is not a misogynistic post, or a chauvnistic post. This is not another post where every guy is seen as an insensitive jerk, and every girl as a real life version of those from saas-bahu serials.

This is for those 'women', a major set of the human gender, who think they are the reason the world goes round. Maybe, it's true.

(1) We know you are confused. Women are emotional, and every guy (jerk or otherwise) knows this through a variety of chick-flicks. Some of us don't like it being used as a blanket excuse every time you can't make a decision. Some women want to be leaders. Nothing wrong in that. But to put on a fake macho mask, or to give the "Oh, i'm confused" excuse, remember a guy never says that. A guy can't say that. To admit we are confused, is to admit we are defeated. And we are programmed not to accept defeat.

(2) We are sick of jokes made on us, yes you know what kind of jokes. Those related to our purchasing power, resPonsibility and passion (theres another P, but i'll reserve that for another conversation)
Women might laugh at our jokes, but there are very few women who crack a witty joke to make a guy laugh *hmph*

(3) You might be lost when it comes to direction. For that, there is GPS. We men NEVER ask for directions when lost. And there is no gadget to help us on that.
(Read the book "Why Men Don't Listen and Women Can't Read Maps)

We do not remember names and dates because we don't associate emotions and feelings with numbers, but with events. The only numbers and dates we remember are the runs Tendulkar scored and when, the amount left in our bank balances after salary-day, and 31st March (end of the financial year :P )

(4) Hey! We are jealous too! We hate it when you talk to us about how hot the tall guy from class is.
We are consious of our looks. This is why we get into fights with other guys over you. We are a possessive and an insecure lot. The reason we question women about the guy they smiled at, is the same reason women would NAG us to death about why our eyes lingered for a second too long at the chick in front of us at the queue.

(5) Dressing up isnt what we look for. We look for a girl who knows how to take care of her looks, and is presentable. Just as every girl wants to be seen with a tall, dark handsome man with a six-pack.. in a suit. Alas! We don't have the money for an Armani.. or a six-pack..

(6) When you fought so long and hard with the system, and struggled to get educated, why can you not struggle with your parents for the boy who'd give his heart to you? Why would you not struggle against an arranged marriage, and that boring life that you'd spend at home?

(7),(8) [No comment because i have no experience/no idea on whats being spoken in these points.]

(9) We might be seen to pay for anything, but to us it is not about the money, its about the company you provide. Ask a guy if the 10$ coffee he paid for you was

(10) Those seven missed calls were to show we care. To show that you need to bear anything alone. Because when you said you wanted to be alone, it implies something is wrong, and you need a shoulder to lean on. And what good is a man, if he cannot be a shoulder to lean on.

(11) Like fingerprints, every guy is also dirty. Oops, different. Well, most aren't. Most are jerks. Take it from a guy like me. But why women are attracted to those jerks, is still beyond me.

(12) We appreciate women. But understand that most men are not articulate. Those doors we held open, that call we answered at 1a.m... Every little thing we do, is a sign of appreciation. I'm sorry you missed it.
As for men, only jerks will ask to be appreciated. The good ones will make do with a little understanding. That we are not perfect.
(Read the book "Why Men Lie, and Women Cry")

Vinothraj J said...

One last question that has been nagging my mind as well. When we have to satisfy so many emotional needs, why do you marry the guy who has an MBA, a salary twice mine, and comes from a "good" family? Can you not respect me and my feelings, the same way I respect yours?

P.S. I understand that not all men would even have the patience to go beyond my first point. For those who did. Wow! Even I didn't have the patience to re-read what i wrote! Hence i highly doubt you'd copy this into your blog, and therefore i do not request you to do so! :P

subs said...

@SHN..Do it on my FB :) Thanks a lot :)

@Vinoth..awesome :) But I can retort every point. We marry guys with all that qualifications because it is not us who have problems with highly educated women but you :)

Vinothraj J said...

@Subs: thanks :)
And my point was not abt educated men, but any educated women who think they are ' modern', not being truly 'educated' and 'modern'..
Watch and be in awe of these 'educated' women..

and I know you are clever enough to respond ;) but that post was from personal experience.. Hence the raw feelings..

Anyway, just don't expect too much from us. To get all you want, Section 377 is your only way out.. :o

Vatsal Rathod said...

very nice post indeed..could've been titles as 'a short guide to the frustrated boy-friend' i guess ;-)..just responding to one of the things you listed..I dont think girls mostly mean it when they say "i want to be alone for sometime"...i guess thats the time they want him to be there and make her feel wanted..what say? :-D

Happy Blogging!!!