The dal was just right or maybe it needed more salt. She
fiddled with the spoon and thought for some time. How did it matter? He was
going to foul mouth her anyway. She wished he changed what he said; it was the
same every time that started with her food and went to her family.
She had tried to vent
it out to people she knew and reply was ‘office pressure’. Maybe it was, but
she could not be too sure. What would she know? She had left work two years
ago. She had loved her work. The financial freedom that came with it gave her
the satisfaction. Her double degree seemed to be justified but she had to give
it up because he didn’t like it. He didn’t want her to stress and get
pressurized in the nasty office politics. He had emphasized that it was a bad
world.
Euphemism was his greatest weapon and she couldn’t retort to
it. He would run to his family and his mother would halt at their place.
Blackmails would happen in pretext of advise and eventually she would give in.
Like she agreed that it was the right time for the baby. She didn’t know if it
was but everyone wanted it. She had pushed away the idea that society was like that but couldn’t
ignore. The feeling was amplified by her relatives pressurizing her parents.
Sometime, or most of the times she wondered if she lived in this century.
She poured the dal from the stove into a vessel. Her thoughts were somewhere else.The dal she had eaten at Mrs Sasi’s place tasted well. She
yearned to go there often but there was no time. That is the reason she had
given to Sasi. It came naturally to her, that lies, because she didn’t want
another drama over anything. She had stopped talking to people, not that they
were concerned either. She gave up on interacting because gossips flew and
husbands suspect. Her parents had advised to stay on good books. Didn’t she do
that for 22 years? Staying on their good books? Listened to them when they
asked her not to go to parties or movies with friends? Is it a life time commitment
of listening to someone you bound to? She had many questions but never asked
them except in the altar of Gods.
She moved out of her Kitchen and switched on the TV. There
was news of rape victim in Delhi. She empathized helplessly. She was a coward,
she knew it. One who obeyed her husband and served him. Maybe everyone claimed
that being a housewife was the toughest but she didn’t like it. Didn’t that
matter? Shouldn’t she be the one to decide the ways of her life? At least the
things that were trivial? Anger brewed in her.
He snatched the remote from her, like he snatched everything
else. Her thoughts and emotions. But it didn’t matter because the norms were
set. Maybe it was the safest and best for her.
The news anchor screeched about the atrocity of the
incident. She prayed for the victim. Prayed for herself for she was a victim of
another kind.
2 comments:
Great post! Jus wanted to drop a line and say I enjoyed reading it.
One small thing I came across- is that the right usage of the word 'abashed' ?
Thanks Lux!
Corrected it :) Thanks for it too!
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